About Me

An intelligent Oscar Wilde once said 'be yourself because everybody else is taken', and honestly I don't think enough people know this. Everybody strives to be somebody else, believing that they are following the path to perfection, but during this they forget their own identity and just simply become a mere corrupted copy of their role-model. Yet, they forget to look in the mirror and begin to fear their own reflection, scared of being reminded who they really are. Obsessed with the thought of fitting in they begin to lose their courage which allows them to be who they really are and fear the end of their popularity.

This fear just then escalates, preventing people from doing the things they love. Too scared of it all coming to the end. Constantly, the media portrays the quote of 'all good things must come to an end', but they forget that everything in life is temporary, because everything in life changes. That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever.

I, like many others, refrain from doing the things that I love for the fear of a broken heart. But honestly, why do we not realise this is a ridiculously stupid way to behave? Think about it, preventing yourself from being happy for the fear of sadness. As a child, in your childish antics would you ever stop yourself from doing something for the worry of being hurt? Or would you make choices with the primary goal of having fun?

I understand that this so far hasn't been about the brunette girl in the pictures, but I feel that this needs to be said. I have held myself back from so many potential great things, due to this ridiculous fear of being hurt and I don't want anybody else to make these mistakes. But this is me. I am this person, I am Abbie-June and I am Citta Ancorata.

Growing up, my parents were always taking pictures of me, whether that be of me strutting around in my fairy dresses with my fluffy pink wand or dressing up my bald baby head with a wig of blue wool. All my childhood memories were captured for me to look back on but that soon changed.

You get to an age where  you become aware of the camera, constantly pointing at you. Some people flourish, enjoying it and learning how to pose for the pictures. I wasn't one of them. I became aware of how I looked within the pictures and didn't see anything attractive or worthy of sharing. I guess this was the point where I developed or did not develop a self-esteem nor a love for myself. 

Being the fat kid in a some what sporty school wasn't always easy, especially with my family being rather good looking. However, my childhood was somewhat fantastic, dramatic as it was, it was pretty spectacular. 

The one word I would use to describe my childhood, my life, would be 'dramatic'. I mean my family has more drama than ITV! Therefore since I was little I have always shied away from this and tried to escape from it, but with it following me, haunting me, I have never developed a coping mechanism and as a result just bottled my feelings away.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a sob story. I am thankful for my family and love everybody in it (warts and all), from the variety of mistakes and mishaps we have gone through we have all became more understanding of different aspects and are quite a loving little bunch.

Support is always available within my family but I was always to uncomfortable to take it and didn't want the spotlight on me, so I hid in the shadows and stuck to the side of my mum and dad and watched everything unfold in front of me. I have always been very family orientated, being brought up with love, care and family activities I was always close with my parents but never as close as I am to them now. 

My childhood was fantastic but it sure had it's difficulties which I would love to share with you at some point along my journey of Citta Ancorata but the time to share them isn't now. So I guess that is a story for a little later...